August/September Recess

Since my last post, life has picked up quite a bit.  With no vacation to speak of for me since last Christmas and still nothing planned for longer than 5 days in the near future, I opted for some long weekends away in August and September.  What I didn't anticipate were the mornings I had to get to work early in exchange for my time galavanting for an entire day - usually a Friday.

Trips and a varied work schedule equated to not only missing mysore, but sometimes not practicing at home.  The first few times it happened, I felt awful about not going to the studio and worse, not late canceling my class reservation.  I'd become a regular at AYSDC and enjoyed the rhythm of getting up, getting out and seeing people in the predawn.  Plus, I'm super accountable.

When I practiced at home, I found that The Weaver  no longer woke up with me.  It was almost as though my waking up and not leaving was some gross error.  I can only guess that Mona thought I'd soon be putting on shoes to leave, so why go through the trouble of monitoring my activity?

I haven't been to the studio  much in about 3 weeks, but I've been in touch with Keith regularly and my periodic home practice helps me to feel on track save for the lack of adjustments.  Of course, it's not the same.  Off to work I would go, often sore from NOT practicing.  My low back missing the newly incorporated assisted drop backs.   I texted hot and cold to my teacher "I'll be there!" "Working early, ugh" or "Out of town, see you soon".   I felt like I was letting him down by not being there and told him so.   Keith is always empathetic and I appreciated his graceful check ins.  He texted,  "Just making sure you're OK.  The gang misses you."  

In addition to the long weekends and early work days, football season has resumed.  I'm a Washington Redskins fan and find myself pretty wrapped up in the team when the games begin.  The one Monday night game is out of the way now, so I'm sitting pretty as far as getting to bed at a decent hour during the season  :).  Here are few pictures from my long weekends.

Dave Chappelle Pre-show Stand Up Acts

Susquehanna Bank Center, Camden N.J.

My Nephew George and His Beautiful New Bride, Alicia

Columbus, OH

On the way to Breakfast
Edgartown, Martha's Vineyard

Big Bro and Me before Georgie's Wedding
Columbus, OH

Soror Deb and Me at the Season Opener for the Washington Redskins

FedEx Field -  Landover, MD

Letting Go (part 2)

Didn't bat an eye when my alarm went off at 4:40 AM.  I had gotten to bed around 10 the night before and figured I was either gonna get out of bed or literally lay witness to the internal argument.  Usually talkative, The Weaver quietly regarded me with wide eyes when she saw me put on shoes.  "Mommy's practicing without you today, sugars, see you in a bit." I said while crouching and backing out of the house.   Despite the hour, it's always worth it to Mona to make a play for the door which adds a 5 to 10 minute delay to my departure depending on how far she makes it down the hall.

Only a few birds were singing when I made my way into the open air garage which was eerily still.  Predawn traffic was light and I got to AYSDC in 20 minutes.  I've been to mysore before, but only on Sunday mornings; which is a breeze to get to because there's no rush hour traffic.  A little nervous but glad that the room was sparse (one student was there besides me),  the teacher, Keith gave me lots of assists "or picked on me" in his words, nudging me deeper into asanas and reinvigorating ones that had become stagnant.

The room filled with Ashtangis as time went on, but as I got to bujapidasana, Keith came over and talked me through the modification.  Right away the demo wipeout memory flashed in front of me and my ego cried out, "Oh #$$%! how are we gonna do this?"   Assisting me throughout, Keith talked me through entry, middle (dropping my head then picking up my feet) and exit.  Thank God.  Then like an eagle mother teaching its eaglet how to fly, he told me to do it again and walked away.  So this time my ego unchained recommended I go for the chin forward version.  At the precise moment of my attempt Keith caught me in the act and called out from the middle of the room in the very sweet yet stern way he has, "drop your head down".  Ego cringed while anticipating wipeout #2 as I  dropped my feet, then my head, lifted my feet, dropped my feet, lifted my head and I made a peaceful exit from Buja on my own.  Well then!

With that drama behind me, my preprogrammed self  jumped through to begin wheel and closing series.  Just as I was doing so, Keith was back at my side saying, "Do the next one".  "huh?" I asked.   "Do the next one." he repeated.  And herein lies the surprise.  KURMASANA was given.  Not only that, but a little garba practice too.   Being the process lover, it did not occur to me that I'd be given additional poses so quickly.  I just knew that I'd toil for weeks on perfecting everything up to that point.

In mid life I'm discovering that I have ways of being that brought me much comfort in the past that no longer work for me and need changing.   Letting go of outworn methodologies has been complicated at best and rife with extreme discomfort.  Yet always on the other side there's been expansion into new areas of growth that are liberating and scary!  I've had to take a few days off from practice, and came back today.  I stopped at kurmasana and reported to Keith on my way out who noted we would work on it more next time.  I'm looking forward to doing so, as well as working on more of letting go.