Letting Go

Someone asked me recently how my asana practice was going.  For a moment the question caught me off guard because I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks and I've just been quietly plodding along in my living room each morning with no new news to report.   The reason for my silence is that I'm stuck..and you readers know where.   So my reply was, "It's going OK."

A few weeks back, I fell on my head while demonstrating bujapidasana in class.   Wiping out while teaching reinforced my core belief that one shouldn't teach a pose that one hasn't mastered. However, I was teaching the modification, which up until that point was working well for me.   There seemed to be no harm done to my head, just a little tenderness around my neck and shoulders later that night.  An excuse to get some use out of my China Gel.

The next morning I was back on the mat, and when I came to bujapidasana this time I extended my chin forward and lengthened my spine instead of lowering the crown of my head down which releases my abdominals, essentially making the arm balance more of a hangout.  Voila! A different asana, with core engagement, stability and control.  I can't quite get my feet up yet but this is progress over the preceding loosey goosey attempts.

Kurmasana awaits me at the other side of this work, and even though I may be stuck there even longer I look forward to working my way into the openness that this asana brings.   I know how this pose feels because I've done it a few times with assistance in led primary classes.  It feels soooo good.  But I can't have it yet.  Buja is taking the time it needs which brought me to terms with what I have known for a while needs to be done, and it only took me falling on my head to realize that I should see to this measure sooner rather than later.

This week I let go of left  my living room and The Weaver for mysore at the studio.  Waking BEFORE 5AM, The Weaver eyed me incredulously while I performed a hurried version of my showering and teeth brushing ritual.   I actually gave this jaunt a dry run last week, which settled my nervousness around getting stuck in traffic and being horribly late to work.  I had just enough time afterward to get home, re-perform my grooming rituals and hustle out the door by 7:45.

What happened at my next mysore practice next surprised me.